'The Five' on Republicans calling out Biden admin for using DOJ to intervene with parents

This is a rush transcript of “The Five” on October 6, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Hello, everyone. I’m Dana Perino along with Judge Jeanine Pirro, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse — Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld.


GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: We’re doing it for 10 years.

PERINO: It’s five o’clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.

Rage increasing over a controversial plan by President Biden’s Justice Department to investigate parents who voice concerns about their children’s education. The Department of Justice is encouraging school officials to report parents they see as a threat to the FBI.

The New York Post summing it up this way. Are these domestic terrorists? Parents have been speaking up at heated school board meetings, we’ve covered them. But getting the feds involve for many, that’s a step too far. Republicans vowing to get answers from the White House.


SEN. TOM COTTON (R-AK): This is a dangerous overreach by the Biden administration, to sick the feds on parents who simply want to play a role in their kids’ education.

SEN. JOSH HAWLEY (R-MO): Any time that this administration doesn’t like opposition, any time it doesn’t like a political point of view, they tried to silence it.


HAWLEY: And they are willing to use federal law enforcement power to do it.

REP. KEVIN MCCARTHY (R-CA), HOUSE MINORITY LEADER: This is wrong. This is against what America believes fundamentally. Education is the great equalizer, but now we are saying governments is the only people to have a say, not your parents?

SEN. MARSHA BLACKBURN (R-TN): What they are saying is, what you take what we are going to give you, if you challenge a government takeover of your children, if you challenge what we are doing, they are going to turn you over to the FBI.


PERINO: And these past statements from President Biden are getting attention where he promised he would not politicize the DOJ.


JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: I would not direct my Justice Department like this president does. I would let them make their independent judgment.

The Justice Department under my administration will be independent of me. I will not direct them who to prosecute, how to prosecute, what to prosecute.

It’s not my Justice Department. It’s the people’s Justice Department.


PERINO: Jesse, even Jesse Jr. is old enough to remember —


PERINO: — when the Democrats thought President Trump would weaponize the DOJ.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: It’s right that you said that Jesse Jr. came out of his crib today and he said dad, the first amendment specifically prohibits Congress from abridging the right of people to peaceably to assemble and petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Now these parents have a lot of grievances because, if a teacher tells your son you are racist, you are going to complain, or if a teacher says I’m going to slap a mask on your child for six hours five days a week, you are going to complain. If a teacher says your daughter has to share a locker room with a guy, you are going to complain.

So, it seems like the Democrats go out of their way to protect the free speech rights of terrorists, anthem kneelers, stature topplers, leakers, and pornographers, but little Ms. Simmons, if she gets upset about something at a school board meeting, the g men are going to come and show up at her door.

And what is the FBI going to do? They are going to do what they always do. They are going to infiltrate PTA meetings. They are going to entrap a soccer mom. All while people are trafficking women and they are ignoring tips about school shooters. That’s what usually happens here.

I think parents should resist this. They will become folk heroes if Joe Biden’s team tries to throw them in prison for opposing their liberal agenda. And Dana, I don’t know if you saw Andy McCarthy today —

PERINO: I did.

WATTERS: — in the National Review — he’s got a great piece.

PERINO: Thank you.

WATTERS: One of the lines from the FBI — this is their mantra. Process is the penalty. So, what they do is they threaten these federal investigations, very torturous and expensive, they threaten indictments, which can ruin your life, and what that does is that she’ll speech. So, they are basically extorting silence from their political opponents. And no one is ever going to stop them unless parents stand up.

PERINO: Is there any role here for the FBI?

JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS HOST: Absolutely not. This is something if there’s a problem, you call the local police, you call the sheriff department, you call the D.A. The last person you want to call is the FBI because we already know how they botched this, whether it’s the Nassar case from the Olympics, or whether it was the Parkland school shootings, or I could go on and on, the Epstein case, and on and on.

They have no role in this. The FBI likes to get involved where they get a lot of headlines.


PIRRO: But let’s focus more on the issue. What is important here? What’s important here are parents have a fundamental right to decide what is going to be in their child’s education. These are not people who don’t have a say. It’s their children, not the state’s children.

And what’s so incredible about all of this is that we’ve got little Johnny who is coming home from school, and Johnny says he’s getting yelled at in class. He’s six years old, he wears glasses. And when he pulls down his mask when his glasses fogged up, a teacher yelled at him to put his mask back up.


PIRRO: And we’ve got kids like this all over the country who are spending more time cleaning their desk than they are actually learning anything. And then we have the issue of, you know, other kids who are now being put in — and another kid in advanced algebra when last year she didn’t even learn fundamental algebra because the teachers weren’t even — weren’t even in school.

I think the teachers are the last people that Americans see as victims in this case. If anything, they were made rich during a pandemic. They didn’t want to come to work, and now they want to yell at our children. And there was a time where they were celebrities.

Now, kids see their teachers on the streets and teachers don’t recognize them because they’re all masked up.


PIRRO: They don’t even know who their students are. It is absolutely not the role of the feds.

PERINO: Jessica, is it possible to be charitable to the White House and the DOJ, that this is yet another example of them not explaining something while dumb I cannot explain something well, sending out a memo, and then not actually dealing with the communications fall out?

JESSICA TARLOV, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: It’s totally feasible. And to pick up on something that Jesse said, you know, use the word peaceful which is critical to the first amendment and understanding of how these meetings should go. We all realize that even if you disagree with someone you should treat people with respect. You shouldn’t get in their faces.

There’s video of people, of teachers and school board members being accosted on the street. It’s my impression, just understanding, you know, President Biden and the people who work for him, Merrick Garland, they don’t seem like irrational people that they are going to be talking about folks who are taking this to an inappropriate level versus just someone who is saying excuse me, I don’t agree with this but at a curriculum.

And most parents, I think, should understand that the mass mandates are not coming from the teachers themselves. That’s coming from the higher on upstairs.

PERINO: But the FBI involvement.

TARLOV: the FBI involvement doesn’t seem to make a ton of sense. And it also might be one of those things that we get upset about for a few weeks. It never comes to fruition. It was kind an aside thing that Merrick Garland did comment on because —


PERINO: Maybe he got a call from the White House and he was like fine, I will put out the memo. But anyway, they did it and he’s got a lot of attention. And a lot of people are mad and upset and they were mad before. But just this week, President Biden when he asked about the harassment Kyrsten Sinema, the senator from Arizona when followed into the bathroom, he said, it’s part of the process.


PERINO: But she was basically like saying, you know, this happens to everybody and it’s OK.


PERINO: It’s not OK. Kiersten Powers, she’s at CNN, she said, had this tweet. Which is worse, your grandparents being deported or being followed into a bathroom because you refused to stop and listen by people desperate for your help? This is not a trick question.


GUTFELD: And then I think when people called her on this, she said, hey look, you know, if Kyrsten didn’t want to be bothered in the bathroom, she shouldn’t have gone to the bathroom. That’s kind of like saying you asked for it. This is part of two trends. Biden is OK with that, but they are not OK with hypothetical crimes.

What that person did in the bathroom could be construed as a crime coming with a camera and filming somebody.


GUTFELD: But what you are saying is we are criminalizing the life of an average American decent citizen while we stop targeting criminals so now you can shoplift anything under $900. You can beat people up on the streets in New York, you get out like that. But hypothetically, you could be a threat, a domestic threat if they decide that’s the case.

And so, what they are doing is, these trends are happening at once. Crime is being decriminalized, decent citizens are being criminalized at the same time, at the same rate. And it is happening, to the fake feminists, Kiersten Powers. Do you remember her she was a familiar face here always lecturing us on how poorly women in politics are treated, and the need for grace?

It’s always — it was always about grace in civil life. And then she goes after Sinema. She felt the — she felt that this was a cause for confrontation. She’s a hypocrite. But this is the same logic that she is using. Like, some issues are so important that you have to confront people.

That was the same reason that Ashli Babbitt had she went to the capitol and she was murdered, an unarmed protester shot dead.

PIRRO: Right.

GUTFELD: I did a search. I couldn’t find anything by Kiersten Powers about Ashli Babbitt, like saying, my God, this woman wanted to speak truth to power — no pun intended — and she was murdered. You think Kiersten Powers would go like, because you know what they might share religious similarity. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are both religious.

But some — but I think that when it comes to this bathroom stuff, Kiersten Powers isn’t turning the other cheek, literally. She has made her name lecturing people on grace and then she goes to CNN and does an about face, hypocrite. She deserves to be called out.

PERINO: And it rhymed.

GUTFELD: It rhymed. And you know that was totally spontaneous.

PERINO: I loved it. All right. Coming up, President Biden better — build back better fest because his big spending plan could get swept away by a red wave.


GUTFELD (on camera): President Biden battles his own party to pass trillions of dollars in new spending. He may want to pay attention to this. A new poll shows voters prefer Republicans over Democrats in the midterms, it’s a big sign of a red wave and a key bellwether race to be Virginia’s next governor. Democrat Terry McAuliffe said Biden’s unpopularity in that state could cost him his race.

I love the phrase bellwether. I don’t even know what it means, Jesse. But we always hear about like, there’s going to be a blue wave when the Republicans are in power, and now it’s the red wave when the blue — blues are in power. Is this a different or is this the normal flip-flop that happens when people are in and out of power?

WATTERS: I see red waves wherever I go.


WATTERS: So, I don’t know if you want to go to me. But yes, no. It does look like this is going to be a historically good year for Republicans in 2022. The Q poll just came out. It’s loaded poll for Democrats. They are usually up about seven points, very charitable to the left.

Joe Biden is underwater and honesty, economy, COVID, taxes, border, immigration, military, leadership, and competency. So, Joe is going to be of no help to the Democrats in the midterms. And Trump is off the ballot so the Democrats aren’t really going to be super juiced to turn out. And the Democrat’s line that they want to run next year is a pandemic defeated and an economy renewed.

Right now, we’ve already had more COVID deaths under Joe Biden than we have had under Donald Trump, and Democrats act like we are still in quarantine, like they are afraid to go to the grocery store. So, I don’t know how that’s going to play. And the economy is riddled with inflation and labor shortages because of these Biden policies. So, I don’t know if they are going to be able to pull it off. I think the Republican should do pretty well.

GUTFELD: It seems like, Jessica, it seems like the promises of free stuff were not enough to convince people that the Dems have their best interest in mind. That’s what you said to me in the green room earlier. But I agree.

TARLOV: I’m glad you are bringing our private conversation out here for public consumption. The way I’m looking at the midterms is really, can the Republicans finish what they started in 2020? Because they had a really good night on the congressional level and they had a good night on the Senate level.

There were few races that Democrats thought we could pick up that we weren’t able to close the gap there. There were three polls so far in October. Quinnipiac is the only one that has Republicans up in the generic ballot. But Democrats in YouGov and Morning Consul the margins are getting tighter. Morning Consul was only D plus one, which is a tossup. Right?

And when you don’t have a president that’s necessarily going to help you in every district, whereas — that was the great thing about Joe Biden, that he was a unifier for all Democrats. You have everyone from AOC to the Tim Ryan’s of the world touting his moderate bonafides and ability to work with everybody. It’s going to make these races like what’s going on with Terry McAuliffe very difficult. I’m not really to say it’s over for Democrats obviously.

WATTERS: Just say it,

TARLOV: But — but I don’t think yet.

WATTERS: You know it in your heart.

TARLOV: I don’t — well, historically speaking, it should happen. This is what happens. And that’s why there is this rush. We have to get reconciliation done. We have to get infrastructure done, because those may be the most major Biden accomplishments.

WATTERS: Yes. That’s not much of an accomplishment.



TARLOV: Really?

WATTERS: Spending other people’s money.

TARLOV: That’s not what it is.

WATTERS: It’s not going to play.

TARLOV: It’s transforming the country.


WATTERS: You are not even getting credit for the $300 checks

PIRRO: You know the problem with rushing everything through, they thought that they could rush it through. Then the American public wouldn’t really know what was in it. It’s like human infrastructure, it’s roads and bridges. I mean, the average American doesn’t know there’s 1.9, there’s 3.5, and there are these different bills.

But the longer it goes, the less chance there is for it to happen. And I think the fact that it’s the Republicans and the independents who are winning on the issue of prosperity and protecting the United States, and the polls that have come out after Afghanistan make it so clear that Joe Biden is seen as a bubbling, mumbling liar, and then his military comes out and they say something opposite of what he has says.

I mean, every day, the news keeps getting worse for Joe Biden. My question is this, though. If the Republicans do get the House, are they going to do what the Democrats did with respect to impeachment? There are a lot of issues that Joe Biden could be impeached on, on a lot of legitimate issues. Will the Republicans have the chutzpah to do what the Democrats?

WATTERS: I don’t think they are going to do that.

PIRRO: — Do you think — do you think there is grounds for it?

WATTERS: I would love to see it, but I don’t think they should.


TARLOV: On what —

WATTERS: They just get Joe out in 2024.

TARLOV: What are the impeachment ground?

PIRRO: OK. There are a million of them. How about the whole idea — go ahead, Dana.

PERINO: Well, she will tell in the commercial break and then we will reveal it.

GUTFELD: Shouldn’t the Republicans be further ahead given all the calamities?

WATTERS: They are fake polls, Greg.

GUTFELD: All right.

TARLOV: Not the Quinnipiac.

PERINO: No, I think the —


WATTERS: The fakest.

PERINO: The one thing that as Jessica said that Republicans did pretty well in 2020, and then what’s happened in these polls that just, I think everything has been said except for this part, which is that the number of independents, the number on independents.

Independents are the ones that really tipped it to Biden in the end. Right? In this suburban (Inaudible).

PIRRO: Right.

PERINO: In this Quinnipiac poll 60 percent of independents disapprove. And if you’re losing them at 60 percent, and I’m thinking how do you get them back? And the lower your poll numbers go, the harder it is to get things passed.

WATTERS: Exactly.

PERINO: And so, they are really going to try to rush to try to get this reconciliation bill done or something. But if they don’t, they are just in quicksand.

GUTFELD: Where is Kamala? She does — does she help or hurts?


PERINO: She did — she did an event today with some Latino outreach on the bill or something. Yes.

WATTERS: She (Inaudible) after Afghanistan.

GUTFELD: Yes, she is nowhere.

WATTERS: She is applauding.

GUTFELD: That’s it. Because you know what, she — well, I want to get into my theory, but we’ll wait for the next segment.

PERINO: Well, we’re like really holding out on our audience here.

GUTFELD: Yes. Exactly.


GUTFELD: Up next, President Biden being called clueless by his — by a member of his own administration.


TARLOV (on camera): U.S. climate envoy John Kerry not making President Biden looking — look good after saying Biden had no idea his submarine deal with the U.K. and Australia would upset the French government.


JOHN KERRY, U.S. PRESIDENTIAL ENVOY FOR CLIMATE: He asked me what’s the situation? And I explained exactly. He was — he had not been aware of that. He literally had not been aware of what had transpired. I don’t want to go into the details of it, but suffice it to say that the president, my president is very committed to strengthening the relationship and making sure that this is a small event of the past, and moving on to the much more important future.


TARLOV (on camera): So, what happened to a lot of — Dana, what do you think happened here?

PERINO: Well, Secretary Kerry, now climate envoy, is sophisticated enough to know that as soon as he said that, he knew exactly what he was saying. And I think in some ways, he remember you know, he is living in the days of your when he was in charge, right? And when everything run smoothly, if you recall that.

He was not only throwing President Biden under the bus which is really bad and doing it overseas.

GUTFELD: Under the yacht.

PERINO: Imagine though, if that had been a Republican. Right? And how the howls from the Democrats would have been how dare you denigrate our commander-in-chief when you are on foreign soil? This, he actually works for the president. Basically, yes, he had no idea, like literally has no idea.

John Kerry knows what the narrative is about President Biden not being in the loop. But not only that, he threw Blinken —

PIRRO: Blinken.

PERINO: — and Sullivan under the bus as well. And you know what, maybe he thinks it wasn’t handled well, and maybe he raised that in the situation room and nobody paid attention to him, but it does seem that he knew what he was doing. Then he tried to sort of backtrack, he’s like, of course, you know, he really wants everything to be fine. And it does sound like things are fine now —


PERINO: — working with the French, but I have a feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing.

TARLOV: What do you think of that, judge?

PIRRO: Well, I absolutely agree with all the points that you’ve made. And I think it’s interesting the way Kerry starts. He says he asked me what’s the situation was. Why would he be asking the climate envoy what the situation is? Why would he be calling up Blinken and saying to Blinken what the heck is going on with France? They canceled the gala, they pulled out two ambassadors. What’s going on? Now he doesn’t do that.

So, I think Dana is right on the money. I think it’s like, the days of yore, when he was secretary of state. And I also think that there’s — he knew what was going to happen. Because all of us now go back to — it was the same thing with the generals when he said well, you know, he didn’t remember, maybe they said it. And so, he kind of conjuring up an idea, a narrative of his fitness for office. But that’s just the way I see it.

TARLOV: And that’s why I ask you. I want to play this stuff from Jen Psaki today in the press briefing room.


PETER DOOCY, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: He said this president’s first love is foreign policy. So, why doesn’t he know about these things in real time?

JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Of course, he knew about the French being displaced —

DOOCY: Not when he said —

PSAKI: Let me finish.

DOOCY: — literally have not been aware.

PSAKI: Peter, I would encourage you to ask John Kerry specifically about the context of his comments, the president and the former secretary are also good friends. He relies on his counsel, as he does with many numbers of his national security team. But that’s certainly is not what he was intending to convey.


TARLOV (on camera): So, Greg, what I thought was interesting about this, first of all, that obviously that’s not what she wanted to be talking about. But Jen Psaki comes from Kerry world, she doesn’t come from Biden world. So, what did you think of her defense?

GUTFELD: Well, she had no defense. She had — that’s why she had a spin. I think the spinning will be Joe Biden wasn’t aware of it, so again, it’s not his fault.


GUTFELD: So now, his profound ignorance and possible confusion in this job, it’s a shield against criticism. hey, it’s grandpa Joe, he didn’t know. I think that the Dems like it this way. The less he knows the better. Because he really was elected to be kind of a shell for a whole other group of Democrats, right? He was the Trojan horse. It raises the question, what else does Joe not know, and when did he not know it? Get that? No?

PERINO: Got it.

TARLOV: She just didn’t like it.

GUTFELD: She just didn’t like it.


GUTFELD: When did he not know and when did he not know it?

PIRRO: He never knew.

GUTFELD: He never know!

PERINO: That’s the funny part.


WATTERS: That’s been his M.O., plausible deniability.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

WATTERS: Right? And even the French know. I think when Kerry said Biden didn’t really get it, the French said, you know, you’re right, he probably didn’t get it. And he takes the sting out of them losing that deal. And you know John Kerry thought he should have been president. You know, Kerry —


WATTERS: — was in the Senate with Joe Biden. Joe Biden was always a joke in the Senate. Kerry thinks like listen, this guy just does it now here and it slipped and he did throw him under the yacht.

But this is the biggest alliance or military development in the pacific for decades, this new alliance we have with the Australians and the British against the Chinese. If Biden didn’t know about that and the implications about that, that is pretty scary we not only gave the Australian submarines, we gave them mid-range missiles that can hit the Chinese mainland, hit all their shipping lanes, and China can’t do anything about it. They’re out of range.

So, the Chinese are humiliated, they’re panicking and that’s why they’re lashing out against Taiwan to prop up the regime domestically, but you know, they’re up, you know, what’s creek.

GUTFELD: You know, Jessica, can I repeat my joke again so it gets clipped and people see how brilliant it is. I think it raises a question what does Joe not know and when did he not know it?

TARLOV: Do you like it now, Judge?

PIRRO: Yes, it works.

GUTFELD: OK, thank you.

TARLOV: On that note, ahead, new calls for censorship in the fallout from the Facebook whistleblower.


PIRRO: Liberals using the fallout from the Facebook whistleblower to call for censorship. Journalist Glenn Greenwald says the controversy is being embraced by Democrats and media who do not want to weaken Facebook but instead commandeer its power to censor. And CNN’s Don Lemon is proving his point.


DON LEMON, ANCHOR, CNN: It allows lies to be spread unchecked. So, if we say something on this network that is not true, there are repercussions and ramifications, right? We face the consequences. If you do that on social media, there are no consequences. What we post on social media, what is posted on social media should be true so. And if it’s not true, it should be taken —

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So, what if it’s — what if it’s —

LEMON: Take it down. If it’s not true, take it down. If it’s not true, don’t allow people to put it up there. Have them face consequences.


GUTFELD: Journalists.

PIRRO: OK, Greg, who decides what’s true and what isn’t?

GUTFELD: Yes, that’s idiotic.

PIRRO: Who is the arbiter —

WATTERS: Don Lemon.

GUTFELD: This is — this is just — I mean, it’s amazing. Lemon on THE FIVE though. We just gave him the biggest audience in his career. He would have to do 70 shows in a row to get the number of eyeballs that just saw him. This is the — they’re — you know, the Republicans and Democrats both have problems with Facebook.

The Republicans look at Facebook as something that may be contributing to a moral decline like alcohol and drugs, right? These are things that are bad for kids and maybe we should create an age limit. Like, for cigarettes and alcohol, there’s a certain age limit to get on social media but not making it illegal.

This is different. What he’s talking about is eliminating discourse. He’s going to be the decider on what’s true and what’s false. It’s about controlling the narrative. It has nothing to do with a moral idea, it has nothing to do with truth, it has to do with politics and political power.

PIRRO: But Dana, essentially, aren’t they eliminating all opinion because they can say that your opinion is based upon a fact that is not accurate in their minds?

PERINO: Well, remember that the people on the right have been frustrated with Facebook for a while because of claims of censorship and bias, OK.

PIRRO: Right.

PERINO: But the left hates Facebook for a couple of reasons. One, Republicans are actually more successful on Facebook than they are in reaching audiences. If you look at the top ten pages, you’ll find people — Fox News there, Dan Bongino, you’ll see Ben Shapiro and others.

OK, so the left hates Facebook. And for as much as the Right hates Facebook, the left hates it so much more. They can’t control it. And you — it was very weird to watch last night how like the bat signal had gone out and everyone in the media had the exact same language. It’s all about the whistleblower. It turns out though she’s got some connections with the Democratic Party or long-term Democrats that have like helped her out on this whole thing.

I’m just — I’m skeptical of the whole thing. I’m not saying that Facebook doesn’t need to be regulated. Maybe they do. I’m just thinking that this whole thing to me seemed a little bit strange.

PIRRO: You know, in terms of — Jesse, in terms of Don Lemon saying there has to be consequences, I love when he said, if we at CNN do something on the network that’s not true, we face consequences. I’m thinking Chris Cuomo, Jeffrey Toobin. Are there consequences at CNN?

WATTERS: I mean, they push the Russia hoax for how long? Were there consequences for that? No. And Dana is right. This smells like a setup to me. It reminds me of the Christine Blasey Ford, Ukraine whistleblower phone call. All of a sudden, this woman, after photocopying a bunch of documents and she was in charge of nuking the Hunter Biden laptop thing from Facebook, she gets represented by a Democrat guy. And the next thing you know they call up CBS News owned by Viacom, a lot of money in China.

She gets that treatment, and then the very next day she’s testifying on Capitol Hill. How did that happen ahead of time? And now, she’s verified on Twitter and she’s flying to Europe to testify. This thing is too perfect the way she just passed the baton to the media who are all saying the same thing, trying to get their hooks into Facebook to control information flow. Again, you’re right. This is about controlling information because they’re upset that MAGA does well on that platform.

And if I were Zucker, I’d be pissed. I’d say guys, I donated millions to the Democrats. I bought all those drop boxes in Georgia. I got rid of the Hunter laptop story. I took Trump off Twitter. And now you’re going to try to like destroy my company because of this? It’s crazy.

PIRRO: Yes. And I got rid of the laptop story and all that stuff, you know. And you know, Biden won. But let me ask you about the false picture of the company. So, Zuckerberg says, we care deeply about the young women on Facebook and we would never put profits before their safety.

TARLOV: Yes. That’s what I thought were going with that. That was — the past few weeks had been the story after that study came out of the 11 to 13-year-olds. I don’t buy it, and we’ve been talking about it. We know how unhealthy social media is for young women. And as Dana pointed out last week and before that, it was magazines that were terrible for young women and the people who end up being models look a certain way and we know how destructive it is.

So, I think that the whistleblower raises a good point there. We know that Facebook wants to make a lot of money. And it’s a site that was founded on ranking how attractive women are, right? Like, that’s where Facebook came from.

WATTERS: It was?

PERINO: Yes, in his dorm room.

TARLOV: Yes, in his dorm room.

GUTFELD: That’s why it’s called Facebook.

TARLOV: It’s where you could be like ugly, pretty.

WATTERS: Zuckerberg. Was I supposed to know that?


WATTERS: That’s why it’s called Facebook?


PIRRO: Didn’t you see the movie?

WATTERS: No one knows that.

TARLOV: Everybody knows that.

WATTERS: No one knows that.

GUTFELD: Did you not see the movie the Social Network?

TARLOV: But it’s great.

WATTERS: It’s a long time ago, Greg.

PIRRO: No, but you know what, she’s making a good point. She’s making good point.

TARLOV: Thank you. And Joe Biden did when he —

PERINO: But also remember what Kennedy said that her young daughters — her teenage daughters are not even on Facebook.

TARLOV: Well, I’m not.

PERINO: They’re on TikTok and Snapchat. Where’s their whistleblowers?

PIRRO: OK, thank you, everybody. “THE FASTEST” is up next. We did it.


WATTERS: Welcome back, everybody. Time for “THE FASTEST.” First up, I have had my fair share of neighborhood disputes, but this one’s pretty good. Check out this guy’s solution to get people to stop taking a shortcut on his property.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: When people won’t stop cutting across your lawn, set up an automatic sprinkler.


WATTERS: Judge, allowable under the law?

PIRRO: Perfectly legitimate. It’s your property, your castle, your home. Do whatever you want.

WATTERS: Soak them, right, Jess?

TARLOV: I love it. It makes me wish that I had grown up in the countryside.

PERINO: That’s just a suburb.


WATTERS: Dana, would you ever do this?

PERINO: Oh yes, I’d do it. I’d love it. Yes, absolutely. I don’t like people walking across lawns.


PERINO: They try to make a trail on your own lawn. It’s wrong.

WATTERS: Yes, that’s a violation. It’s personal property. Greg, you’re now a homeowner out in the countryside.

GUTFELD: Well, I’m just looking at — New York is different because it’s never a sprinkler.

WATTERS: It’s a weapon. Right. You get two holes in the chest.

PIRRO: It’s a spring gun, not a sprinkler.

GUTFELD: I wasn’t going there but that’s probably a cleaner thing of what I was thinking.

WATTERS: Oh, you were thinking urine, obviously, because you’re very sick. Next up, I’m not going to argue with the science here. According to a new study, women prefer warmer temperatures and argue with men overheating because of built-in evolutionary differences.

Greg, men and women are different. Breaking news.

GUTFELD: I know. I know. And everything is like a product of evolution. Women need to be more sensitive to things like temperature, nutrition, and hygiene because they are the more valuable sex, right? It only takes — it only takes one man to populate a village, but you need a thousand women to populate a village. That makes them more valuable. So, they have to be more sensitive to the temperature because they are in charge of continuing the civilization much like Jessica is doing right now.

WATTERS: You can’t argue with the science, Dana.

PERINO: That’s right. You have to follow the science. So there was — it was disproven this morning on “AMERICA’S NEWSROOM” because, you know, the studios are really —

WATTERS: You disproved it on the newsroom?

PERINO: Yes. Because it’s usually freezing in the studios, right?



PERINO: I was — it was too warm, so I turned it up. And Bill Hemmer was freezing the entire day and even has said the air conditioning was working too well on 21 today.

WATTERS: So, you’re saying Hemmer has the temperature of a female.


WATTERS: I don’t know if I would accept that, Hemmer.

PERINO: I’m saying there was — there are exceptions to the rule.

GUTFELD: He’s a cool customer.

WATTERS: What about you?

TARLOV: I’m the opposite of this. Like, I —

PIRRO: You’re hot.

TARLOV: Well, not just now. I am — I’m a walking oven, so that’s a thing. But like, I need the air conditioner on no matter how cold it is even outside, even when the window is open.


TARLOV: Yes, like I need —

PIRRO: Wait a minute. Before you were pregnant?

TARLOV: All the time. I’m talking about my whole life experience, Judge.


TARLOV: And I like it at like 67 degrees.

WATTERS: 67, I like that.

TARLOV: Yes. So —

WATTERS: What do you like it at?

PIRRO: I like it hot.


PIRRO: Very hot.

GUTFELD: Oh, that’ll be taken out of context. Judge Jeanine.

PIRRO: No, I mean warm. Let me tell you something. If it isn’t — if it isn’t really hot in my house, my kids come home and they said, what’s wrong with you? I said nothing. I’m just too cold. I’m cold all the time.

TARLOV: But overnight, isn’t it so great to get to have multiple blankets on you.

PIRRO: No. They’re too heavy.

GUTFELD: I love it cold. I don’t like —

PIRRO: By the way, the male peacock is prettier than the female peacock.

GUTFELD: Well, that’s — why is that?

PIRRO: Because you mentioned something in the middle —

GUTFELD: No, no, no, no, no. But the — it’s to prove that they are — they can handicap themselves. That’s why a peacock carrying around that is telling the female that he is such an amazing sex partner that he can handicap himself.

PIRRO: No, it’s got nothing to do with sex.

GUTFELD: Yes, it does. He’s walking around with it.

WATTERS: Jeanine, everything has something to do with sex.

GUTFELD: It’s like bodybuilding. It’s like bodybuilding.

WATTERS: And finally —


WATTERS: Enough with the peacocks, people. We’re moving on. Beam him up, Scotty, because Captain Kirk is going to space for real. The 90-year-old Star Trek legend William Shatner is blasting off next week on Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin rocket ship. Who’s excited about this? Who is?

GUTFELD: I’m offended. There’s another job taken by an old white male. I don’t give a shot.

WATTERS: You always see race. Watch your language. Dana?

PERINO: I think this is one of the best PR moves I’ve ever seen.

WATTERS: Good point.

PERINO: And so, like, if you’re looking between Bezos and Musk and who’s getting the better PR, I think for this round goes to Blue Origin.

WATTERS: Musk, you got to step it up. Who’s he going to send next to top Shatner?

TARLOV: Oh, I don’t know.

PIRRO: Biden.


TARLOV: He’s not sending Biden.

GUTFELD: What about George (INAUDIBLE)

WATTERS: Beam up Biden.

TARLOV: Oh, very popular.

GUTFELD: On Twitter that is.

TARLOV: Was that — that’s all that matters, right? Blue checkmarks rule the world. No, I love this because it also for the PR effort but because they’re trying to make space like an accessible thing for normal people that you have these great stories.

PIRRO: You know, every time I see William Shatner, I just smile. I mean, you just want to laugh. I mean, it was a brilliant move by Bezos. It really was. Everybody likes Shatner.

GUTFELD: I wonder if he has Amazon Prime.

PERINO: He will now.

TARLOV: I think he does.

PIRRO: Oh boy. He’s got more than Amazon Prime now.

GUTFELD: What do you mean?

PIRRO: What it means is he gets to go to space.

WATTERS: You guys want to talk about peacocks anymore?

TARLOV: I like that she actually explains it —

WATTERS: We’re going to talk about peacocks and all that.




PERINO: It’s time for “ONE MORE THING.” Jesse, kick us off.

WATTERS: It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month as many of you guys realize. Our friends at Rhoback had debut a new polo called The Fighter. And it already sold out in three hours. But they’re making it available for pre- order —

PERINO: Oh, wow.

WATTERS: — throughout the rest of the month. So go to Rhoback — and that’s spelled — people ask me all the time — R-H-O-B-A-C-K. It’s this beautiful pink polo shirt. They have the ribbons on it. I think these are breast. They’re breasts.

PERINO: Jesse, that’s breast cancer —

WATTERS: I can say that. They’re breast with ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So, go check that out.

GUTFELD: Oh, the shirt is free?

WATTERS: No, but it goes to charity.

GUTFELD: All of it?

WATTERS: Yes, Greg. We know what you’re thinking about there.

PERINO: Yes, Greg. All of it, yes. Anyway, that’s great. And I bet Jesse Jr. knows how to spell Rhoback.

WATTERS: And I’m — that’s true. He’s a great speller. And I’m also on “TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT” at 8:00 so watch me there.

PERINO: Which topic?

WATTERS: I think something with Fauci.

PERINO: OK. All right, we’ll be checking out. All right, I’ll have one short little thing. Look at these two dogs off to the races. We were just talking about Australia. This is down in Australia. A pair of dachshunds taking an 8-month-old named Huckleberry for a chariot ride. This is what they did during lockdown. They made this little chariot thing.

So, now the dog — basically, the dogs take them all around. Huckleberry is actually the kid’s name, believe it or not.

GUTFELD: This is disturbing. We have a problem here with “ONE MORE THING.” Ours are almost identical.

PERINO: Oh no.

GUTFELD: Yes. So, whoever did the sorting out of these OMTs have to see — we have to talk about —

PERINO: Oh, boy. Yes, see us after class.

GUTFELD: Look at this one.

PIRRO: I believe Dana was first.

GUTFELD: Is anybody up there? Hello?


GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great.


GUTFELD: It’s not even Friday people are losing their mind. All right, so take a look at this one. This is also a dog pulling something. In this case, it’s a horse. And I thought, I had a lot of clever stuff to say about this. But you know what, screw it. I’m mad now. I’m mad that our OMTs were too similar.

I would have talked about how mad the horse is to be pulled by a little dog. That seems like a complete like — what do you call it, marginalization of being a horse, demoralizing. But you know what, I don’t — I’m checking out. No more Animals Are Great. It’s done.

PERINO: It’s done? Are we killing it right now?

GUTFELD: Yes, we’re killing it.


PIRRO: Good. It’s my turn.

PERINO: No, America, don’t worry. We will keep it. Jeanine is next.

PIRRO: OK, thank you. I want to thank John Rasmussen who I think, Dana, he did something for you too.


PIRRO: He did a sketch of Sir Lancelot meeting Mikimoto at the rainbow bridge. You know my Sir Lancelot passed. Stop laughing. Greg is laughing, everybody.

GUTFELD: No, these are —


PIRRO: You know what, I’m still speaking. I am still speaking. Anyway, my Stella was still very lonely missing — that’s Sir Lancelot and Mikimoto. They’ve met at the Rainbow Bridge. I’m sure they’re dancing and remembering the time when they were young and strong.

But Stella was lonely so I brought in Bingley and Mr. Darcy. There we are. Mr. Darcy, the handsome one on the left, and Bingley is on the right. Stella is in front, happy as everything. And so, here’s a test. What movie is Mr. Darcy and Bingley from?

GUTFELD: Atlas Shrugged.

PIRRO: Yes, you got it.

PERINO: Pride and Prejudice. We were talking about it.

PIRRO: Pride and Prejudice. Thank you, Dana.

PERINO: Jesse?

WATTERS: Nice floors.

GUTFELD: Myra Breckinridge.

PIRRO: They’re marble floor.

WATTERS: Are those marble floor.

PIRRO: Yes, they match the dogs.

WATTERS: Can we show those marble floors again? Those are nice.

PIRRO: Yes. Do you want to buy my house? My house is for sale. Do you want it?

WATTERS: I don’t know.

PIRRO: See, the dogs match the floor.

WATTERS: Can I — can the dogs get the — can I keep the dogs?

GUTFELD: The dogs match the floor.

PIRRO: Not a chance.

TARLOV: You can have the sprinklers at the lawn.

PERINO: Jessica, you can have all the time in the world since we got — we skipped you yesterday.

WATTERS: We’ll probably cut it off.

TARLOV: Yes, I’m trying to — yes, I’m trying to remember all the “ONE MORE THINGS” I didn’t get to say. But I do want to talk about this today, very exciting. At the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier marking a hundred years at Arlington National Ceremony, a historic first took place, all-female — changing the guard occurred with the 70th — 38th, sorry, sergeant of the guard.

We commemorate the achievements of these — excuse me — trailblazing tomb guards. The old guard stated on social media while this historic event may be the first it’s certainly not the last. During this time of the year, the military guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is changed in an elaborate ceremony 24 hours a day to stand guard. The #Tomb100 is already being used across social media to mark the occasion, very exciting all- female first.

PIRRO: Brava.

PERINO: Brava indeed.

GUTFELD: Why not and bravo?

PIRRO: Because they’re women.

TARLOV: That’s what you do.

GUTFELD: I don’t see gender.

PIRRO: Are you’re cisgender?

PIRRO: It’s bravex.

GUTFELD: Yes, I’m not cisgender.

PERINO: It’s going to be bravex.

GUTFELD: Bravex, yes.

PERINO: We’re coining that right here on THE FIVE.

PIRRO: We are. I was going to say, I didn’t know that one.

PERINO: Yes, I mean we’re just going to — we’re just going to do a lot of things while on THE FIVE because we have eight seconds left.


PERINO: Because Jessica did it so well. Well, that is actually it for us. “SPECIAL REPORT” is up next. Mike Emanuel, how are you doing?

 Content and Programming Copyright 2021 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2021 VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.