'The Five' on Biden's voting rights speech

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This is a rush transcript of “The Five” on January 12, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Hi. I’m Greg Gutfeld along with Jesse Watters, Judge Jeanine Pirro, Geraldo Rivera, and she wants to cut COVID from a lady bug, Dana Perino. THE FIVE.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Most of the price increases that we’ve seen were expected and expected to be temporary. These bottlenecks and price spikes will reduce as our economy continues to heal.

I hear Republicans say today that my talking about the strong record shows that they don’t understand, or that I’m not focused on inflation. Malarkey.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD (on camera): Malarkey? Just like Joe. His promises about inflation didn’t age well. Promises rocketing to the highest level in 48 years increasing a whopping 7 percent in December from just a year ago. But Joe claims he’s making progress insisting that soaring food and gas prices are going down. And that surge and the cost of living is mere a global problem.

And it isn’t just things costing a lot more, it’s whether or not you can find what you’re looking for. The president’s bare shelves problem is still not going away. A shopper compares what’s going to the Soviet Union. Despite that, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is doing a supply chain crisis victory lap.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PETE BUTTIGIEG, U.S. SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION: One of the reasons why Christmas was not in fact cancelled is that ports like L.A. and Long Beach moved record levels of goods allowing an all-time record high in terms of retail sales at this holiday season. Considering the pressures that this country and this community, these communities have been under, that is an extraordinary achievement.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD (on camera): He saved Christmas. Congratulations first to Judge Jeanine who is now permanent panelist on THE FIVE. Now you can afford a complete dress, not just half a dress. It’s very racy, judge.

JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS HOST: It’s not racy at all, it’s got patches in it.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

PIRRO: Yes.

GUTFELD: I know what — I know what you’re up to.

PIRRO: Yes. OK.

GUTFELD: I know you try to distract me and it worked. So, Judge, inflation is at a 40-year high but it’s amazing how like the media and the Dems they’re not that concerned. Are you surprised by that?

PIRRO: You know what, I’m convinced that they should be teaching a class into how to turn a negative into a positive. I’ve never seen anything like it. This is a nightmare for ordinary Americans but to them, it’s a dream. This guy Buttigieg has been home on parental leave is now coming out and saying, I’m, you know, I saved Christmas for you. You should be bowing at my feet.

The mayor called him the man who saved Christmas. Joe Biden is claiming it — blaming it on the global problem and Joe Biden said thank goodness for my American rescue plan. And all of you stop worrying about it, it’s only transitory. We know it’s not transitory.

And here’s the bottom line. The more they talk, more Americans are going to buy less with the money that they make and they can talk all they want about increase in wages and all of this. You can’t afford to buy what you bought a year ago, you want to buy used car it’s 37 percent higher than it was last year. You want to buy — you want to buy meat, you want to buy gas, it’s 50 percent. Don’t give me half a percent, we’re doing good. They are doing terrible, and you know who predicted this?

GUTFELD: Who?

PIRRO: Donald Trump.

GUTFELD: You know, I didn’t see that coming, Judge. I didn’t see that coming. Also, congratulations to Geraldo who has also been made a host —

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT-AT-LARGE: Thank you. Thank you.

GUTFELD: — with Jessica and Harold, and what we call the liberal seat. Now you can finally, maybe you can afford that many cooper you’ve been waiting for.

RIVERA: It came, it came.

GUTFELD: It did, it did. So, you are —

GUTFELD: It did.

GUTFELD: — no wonder you think the economy is going great, Geraldo, because you got your mini cooper.

GUTFELD: I think the economy is doing OK, if you look at the stock market, the stock market doesn’t lie. Look at unemployment at 3.9 percent, the lowest in a very long time. I think that the concern over inflation might be over — might be inflated so to speak. Look at wages. Wages have been suppressed for many, many years.

Remember the $15 an hour crusade that was going nowhere? Now you can’t get a dishwasher around these parts for less than 16, 17 or $18 an hour.

So, I think that some of this inflation was overdue. I think that the, you know, the most egregious price increases will level off, 7 percent is distressing. But I think it’s temporary, I think this too shall pass. And the fact of the matter is, too many Americans were working for too little money. Right?

GUTFELD: This too, shall pass. We keep hearing that. But you got to do something to make it pass, you can’t just say that as your strategy.

Dana, congratulations on absolutely nothing.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Thank you.

GUTFELD: You did not get promoted. You didn’t get a job.

PERINO: I know.

GUTFELD: But that’s OK. You know, people are accusing the president of being out of touch which is ironic because he’s so touchy-feely. Wouldn’t it be great if was the opposite where he could feel our pain and not our teenager shoulders?

PERINO: That is a very good thinking there, Greg.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

PERINO: I have to say I’m blushing a little bit in behalf of the president. Here’s the thing. If it was transitory or it’s no big deal, then maybe they wouldn’t have the political problem that they have.

Did you see the Quinnipiac polls, the president at 33 percent approval? They look at some of these other polls, do you think the economy is getting better or getting worse are saying about the same. Worse at 54 percent. This has become a political issue.

The other thing is, what did we do in the United States that might have been different from other places. If all this was because of the pandemic, you would expect Europe, for example, to be experiencing the same rate of inflation, and they are not. What was different here? It was all the extra money that we put in.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: What was, when you said that they have to do something about it, well, all of a sudden now, what did you hear from them again today? That you have to pass Build Back Better in order to deal with inflation.

That’s obviously, that’s also not going to happen. That Joe Manchin has already said it’s not going to happen. But the other thing that they said they would do, Greg, is perhaps ask for more COVID relief money when you have all this money sitting in the states, it hasn’t even been spent yet.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PIRRO: What a nightmare.

GUTFELD: Crazy. Jesse, you know, we were sold that Joe Biden was going to be like a comfortable sweater. It turns out he’s like a hair shirt. Things have not gotten better. They’ve gotten worse and I blame you.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: OK.

GUTFELD: You have approximately three minutes to respond.

WATTERS: I’m going to need a little bit more time. So, yes, Joe Biden said that this inflation was just going to be a bump in the road. But when you are a 80 and powerful and wealthy, everything looks like a bump in the road.

GUTFELD: Right.

WATTERS: That’s why Geraldo said, this shall pass. I mean, a bump in the – – a bump for Biden is like a crater for most Americans.

PERINO: Yes.

WATTERS: I think Hunter probably just was thinking. Did someone say a bump for Biden? No? OK. But he needs to be like more like Bill Clinton. Right? I feel your pain. Just your pain. Don’t feel everything Clinton felt, but he needs to acknowledge at least a little bit that there is a lot of economic anxiety out there instead of just cherrypicking facts to make this look like the hottest economy of all time.

The feds screwed up. They froze last year. They should have raised rates. Now they are going to have to raise them, but Biden box and the COVID relief package two trillion. They basically set up a grease fire in the economy and that’s why you have a dollar that has been destroyed. And Mayor Pete needs to get back to work.

Did he hear what happened to me? Ribeye gate?

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: They don’t have bone-in ribeye’s, secretary. I had to get the boneless ribeye. Americans are suffering. Look, we’re not used to scarcity.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: You understand that, right? If a person outside this country went to an American supermarket, —

PIRRO: Yes.

WATTERS: — they wouldn’t believe what they saw. You put on a Fitbit and you walk through every aisle in a supermarket, you’re doing a half a mile, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: It’s a palace of produce. A mecca of meat. They have tables of cheese, all through the eye can see. I’m getting hungry just now talking about it. The only time you ever actually see an empty shelf is when people are stocking up before a hurricane or when idiots like me buy toilet paper in the first week of the pandemic. We’re not used to it.

GUTFELD: Yes. No. Only a Democrat could bring us back to the days of scarcity. Judge, last word to you, who could have predicted this?

PIRRO: I think I said that, that was the last sentence and I’m glad you came around to me. Because you know what, I want to say one thing. Jesse, you are so right. I mean, I remember, I remember it was the 70s or the 80s you hear about Russia and they had empty shelves and people standing in line waiting to get food. I never in a million years thought America would be in a situation where we had empty shelves.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PIRRO: It’s shocking.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PIRRO: That’s it.

GUTFELD: Well, thanks, Obama. Coming up, the media’s sudden epiphany on the pandemic. They are just waking up to what we’ve been telling you for years.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PIRRO (on camera): The media is doing a sudden about-face on the pandemic and embracing things that we’ve been telling you for a long time. Gayle King and Jake Tapper are getting slammed for being late to the game after making these observations on COVID.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GAYLE KING, CO-HOST, CBS: I’m so tired of being tired and afraid of this. I am. I think we all have got to figure out how we can live our lives to navigate it and that’s where I am. I don’t want to go back home.

(APPLAUSE)

KING: I don’t want to go back home. I would much rather run down Times Square buck naked than go back home. Buck naked, that’s what I would rather do.

JAKE TAPPER, HOST, CNN: At 40 percent in some hospitals, 40 percent of the people who have COVID don’t necessarily have problematic COVID. They are there because they got in a car accident. They are there because —

SANJAY GUPTA, CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT, CNN: Right.

TAPPER: — you know, they bumped their head and they are being included as in the hospital with COVID and that number seems kind of misleading.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PIRRO (on camera): All right. You know what, I’ll go to you first Greg, since you started with me. I mean, what happened, did they like get a lobotomy? They finally figured this out? Gayle King is saying, I don’t want to go home anymore, I’m tired of this?

GUTFELD: Two points. One, isn’t it great that all of this opinion is acceptable as long as none of us say it? Like we say — if we say anything like this and, by the way, all of us have, then we want people to die, right, when we are anti-science. But if you’re a media approved voice, right, if you are respectable, then you can just parrot everything we say and everybody goes, wow, that’s really sensible.

We knew the answer two years ago would come down to an adult assessment or adult notion of risk assessment, the understanding that there is no such thing as zero risk and you could lock down forever and get as close to zero but that’s a different sort of death.

The second point is, you know, there’s — The Telegraph has reported that the U.K. and the U.S. scientists thought it was likely that COVID escaped from a lab but feared further debate would harm science. So that was another thing that was shut down by the experts and it raises a big question.

This pandemic was human caused. It was created in a lab under idiotic circumstances. It’s true it may have been a mistake but if they understood that there is a risk of this mistake and they must be held accountable. What is the punishment for manslaughter when it’s in the millions? Like, somebody has to go to something more severe than the jail perhaps. I don’t know what the punishment is. But we got to hold somebody or something accountable. Or science.

(CROSSTALK)

PIRRO: They are crimes against humanity.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PIRRO: But you know what, to say it’s anti-science, I mean it’s really to say it’s anti-Fauci, Jesse. I mean, isn’t that the truth? I mean, now that we know that what Fauci has been selling is even been contradicted by liberal left, that tells us that maybe Fauci’s time is limited.

WATTERS: Yes. Fauci’s punishment to Greg’s point should be to have to watch Colbert every single night for the rest of his life. I already predicted Fauci is going to retire after the Republicans retake the House.

RIVERA: Yes.

WATTERS: That’s you can book it right there. I have a question for Gayle King, though. Gayle, what is stopping you from streaking buck naked right now through Times Square? I mean, is Oprah keeping you from doing that? Like, the lockdown has been over for a year and a half, Gayle. What is this, your 550th day to stop the spread? Unbelievable.

I mean, we stopped quarantining after what, like a month maybe. Maybe if you live in a $10 million Connecticut estate, maybe it takes two years to want to leave that $10 million Connecticut estate.

Greg, if she streaks through Times Square that is the official end of the pandemic.

PIRRO: OK. All right.

WATTERS: Not February 1st, when Gayle streaks, then it’s officially over. She says this, Judge, she says —

GUTFELD: We’re still in these boxes, Jesse.

WATTERS: I’m sick and tired — I’m about to break free. She says I’m sick and tired of being scared.

PIRRO: Yes.

WATTERS: Well, we are sick and tired of you being scared too. We are sick and tired of everybody being scared. Half of the country is scared. Half of the country is just living through it and here’s why. The media sells fear for profit. Conservative media sold facts.

We on the show talked about what, comorbidities, therapeutics, the social cost of lockdowns, we went through that but now because the media is a mob, they finally all at the same time caught up to the facts —

PIRRO: Yes.

WATTERS: — and they are glancing around saying, I think it’s OK if we say this now. It’s OK, right?

PIRRO: Yes. Well, they’ve all agreed, they had a big meeting. Dana, I want you to listen to the sound. And I’ll come back to you.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. TED CRUZ (R-TX): So, you just asked, you people at the podium are speaking without masks. Just once I’d like to see a reporter say to Joe Biden when he stands at the damn podium at the White House without a mask, Mr. President, why aren’t you wearing a mask? Just once I’d like to see you say to Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary when she stands at the podium with no mask, Ms. Psaki, why don’t you have a mask? The questions are only directed at one side, and I’ve got to say, the American people see the hypocrisy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PIRRO (on camera): Go ahead, Dana.

PERINO: Well, I think that even if you look at the hearing yesterday where the CDC directors and Anthony Fauci were testifying, some — Rochelle Walensky was double masked. Fauci took off his mask, the FDA commissioner had one mask on and so did the other lady, the testing lady.

So, there’s not even consistency there. And President Biden, like, remember yesterday when he and Kamala Harris got off the plane in Georgia to go give the speech? They are both wearing N95 masks as they get off the plane outside.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And like, so no —

PIRRO: You’re right.

PERINO: So, none of this is making sense. But I am thinking that we’ve been through this before where people in the media eventually come around with something we have said for a long time. That happens to us a lot. I think that we should just be so glad that they’re turning to this position because that might mean that we can all start to get back to normal.

If they really believe this, we should help them and say, excellent, I agree. Smart idea. Thank you. It’s like the Socratic method where you get people to come around to your way of thinking that type of persuasion, let’s just take them up on it. If everybody is ready to go back to figuring out a way to live with it protecting the vulnerable, let’s do it.

PIRRO: You know, you are such a class act, that’s so nice. I don’t know that I would be so nice in the end. Go ahead, Geraldo. You have the last word.

RIVERA: Well, I think that for all things there is a season. And now I can see the pendulum. It’s clear that Omicron is no Delta and you can see the pendulum stringing — stream — swinging where no even Jake Tapper and CNN is saying maybe the results, the death count, et cetera were overblown or exaggerated.

But you know what, 842,000 deaths, let’s say half of them are not COVID as the prime cause, that’s still an enormous number of dead people, historic really. I’m not seeing anything like this is a hundred years.

So, I think we have to be careful now about the minimizing this profoundly unsettling devastating experience that the nation has gone through. Yes, there is hype, yes, Jesse is right that the media is in the doom and gloom business but this is something that historians will look back and said, my God, this was awful.

PIRRO: That could be debated. But straight ahead, the president and Democrats falsely comparing Republicans to segregationists but Biden, apparently forgot to check his own record.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS (on camera): Democrats and the media taking their cues from President Biden and lobbying more smears at Republicans who are just fighting for election integrity laws. And moderate Democrats standing in the way of progressives. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

WHOOPI GOLDBERG, CO-HOST, ABC: I still feel like suddenly, black people still are where we were under the Emancipation Proclamation.

BAKARI SELLERS, POLITICAL COMMENTATOR, CNN: If they want to go down in history at standing on the side of segregationist and those individuals who oppose people who look like me having free and fair access to the ballot, then we will remember them as such.

JOE SCARBOROUGH, HOST, MSNBC: Sixteen of them as you pointed out voted to extend the Voting Rights Act, in 2006, passed unanimously. And now you can’t find a single one that will do the same thing.

UNKNOWN: It’s because the Republican Party has transformed to the party of both fear and fascism.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS (on camera): Well, Joe and the others conveniently forgot to mention the truth on who’s really been palling around with segregationists. Then Senator Biden once bragged about being praised by George Wallace who once called Biden a, quote, “outstanding young politician.” And Biden also once voted to restore confederate leader Jefferson Davis’ U.S. citizenship.

Greg, so someone sent me an article that when I got moved to the seven o’clock CNN called me a flamethrower.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: I saw a lot of people throwing some flames at the top of that. I mean, Whoopi, the CNN guy, I mean, that’s — that’s straight up nasty.

GUTFELD: We have — we are now seeing a new phenomenon and I’ve coined it, it’s called on the sideism. If you don’t agree with me, you are on the side of Hitler. If you oppose my tax increase, you’re on the side with Charles Manson. If you don’t put the toilet seat down, you’re on the side of Stalin.

That’s all this is now. If you notice this is the — this is the, I guess the structure of the insult now. And I love how whatever Joe was demonizing was actually always his side. And it kind of proves that like if you are in politics long enough, you know, you will be on the side of every issue including now the evil side because apparently, he’s condemning the side that he was on as evil.

WATTERS: Yes, you used to be on my side.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Judge, that’s exactly what he’s saying.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: But the country, does the country know that Joe Biden and the Democratic Party were the party of segregation?

PIRRO: Yes. Well, I don’t know if the country knows that and that’s what I worry about. I think that there are low information voters and I think the Democrats are counting on them.

WATTERS: Yes.

PIRRO: The people who just hear a phrase or they just hear some celebrity that they like, you know, mouthing off about something that, all of a sudden if you don’t want illegals to vote then you are on the side of Hitler, or if you don’t show a vote — if you don’t show an I.D. proving who you really are, you know, then you are on the side of, you know, Marxism or communism. I mean, they already admit they are on the side of Marxism but communism, if that’s considered worse.

In the end, this is really about the low information voter. You got smart people on the right and smart people on the left. The people on the left who are smart knows it’s a bunch of hogwash. The people on the right knows it’s an outright lie. All right?

And then, they rely on the people in the middle to get them into office. But in the end, I don’t know that people remember that Joe Biden say, this is great, George Wallace thinks I’m terrific. Or, you know, Strom Thurmond, I gave the eulogy of him at his funeral.

This is crazy and you know what’s worse, I don’t think Joe Biden remembers doing that. Because I don’t think he remembers yesterday.

WATTERS: Is this a cable news situation, Geraldo, the President goes and calls Republican segregationist, and then the very next day, all the people on the left on cable called the Republican segregationist. Is this what we’re watching?

RIVERA: Yes, I think it’s part that. It is the echo chamber. I think that that’s right. You know, I’ve known Whoopi Goldberg for decades. But I have to say that her position on this is absolutely baloney. This has — this is an insult to the memory of the Crusaders.

This has nothing to do with the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 when there was still slavery in this country. What this is about is unregulated mail-in voting, which was a function of the COVID crisis and the voter ID. What’s so — what’s the big deal about having voter ID?

I think, as I said yesterday, everyone in this country should have an ID. Why is that such a big deal? Why is it — are Puerto Ricans inherently incapable of getting a voter — an ID. I think that the federal government should issue IDs to every American. I know a lot of conservatives don’t like that. Too bad.

I think everyone should have the same ID. You got to vote, here it is. At the very least, there’s nothing wrong with having a driver’s license, Social Security card. Everybody has got a Social Security card. There should be some easy way to prove who you are so it’s not just, you know, as if it was a carwash coupon, you receive ballots in the mail, there’s three adults, so you get three ballots, and then some political operative comes and collects them in a great big basket.

I think it’s bogus. It really do. And it is an insult. The Democrats are insulting me. This has nothing to do with Bull Connor. This has nothing to do with you know, Strom Thurmond. It has nothing to do with George Wallace, Jefferson Davis, the Confederacy, the Civil War. This has to do with common sense and each political party vying for the position that helps them accumulate more votes.

WATTERS: Geraldo is right, Dana. He’s not only insulting Geraldo, which is just very offensive, he’s insulting Democrats like Senator Mark Kelly, Senator Jon Tester, Senator Sinema, Joe Manchin. Those are Democrats who do not want to nuke the filibuster to pass this federal takeover of elections. What kind of strategy is that?

PERINO: You remember, he said he want to unite the country. And now he’s even dividing his own party.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: I mean, that is — that is something else. Geraldo is right on the voter ID. If you look at the percentages, that’s like one of the only truly bipartisan agreements that we have in this country is voter ID. So, there’s one thing against him.

One other thing that people don’t realize is in this bill is that it would allow states to take this option of spending taxpayer dollars to fund political campaigns, especially for anybody who is able to raise a lot of small dollar donations. Well, guess who that would be? AOC, for example. She’s very good at fundraising with small dollars. Marjorie Taylor green, for example.

Ted Cruz has a tweet that says, why would you guys want to give me $24 million? Because basically, if you look at his small-dollar donations, if you win six to one, as what this bill says you could do. That’s incredibly unpopular all across the country.

The other thing is, yesterday, the President said we must federalize elections, because democracy is at stake. And then you ask the White House, what do you think about New York allowing 900,000 non-citizens to vote in municipal elections? And they’ll say, oh, that’s just a local issue. I’m not going to pay attention to that. That doesn’t make sense.

So, the RNC, the Republican National Committee, has sued in New York on that very issue. And also, this sort of went by me. In Vermont, they pass the same thing. The RNC is suing there, and it’s likely that because especially in New York, in our Constitution, it says you must be a citizen to vote. The RNC is likely to win on that.

WATTERS: Wow. Something got by you, Dana?

PERINO: Yes.

WATTERS: Shocking. Don’t let it happen again. We can’t afford it. Up next, grab your popcorn. Speculation running wild that two-time loser, Hillary Clinton, could be making a comeback.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

RIVERA: Yes. With President Biden and Kamala Harris getting crushed by dismal approval ratings, Democrats need a serious Hail Mary to keep the White House in 2024. That’s why some are thinking the ones unthinkable, Hillary Clinton.

Yes, that Hillary Clinton, the former First Lady, Senator, Secretary of State, and of course failed 2016 Presidential Candidate. Two big-time Democratic operatives penning this Wall Street Journal op-ed today suggesting Hillary make the mother of all comebacks, saying, “If Democrats want a fighting chance at winning the presidency in 2024, Mrs. Clinton is likely their best option.”

And have you noticed Hillary herself growing louder in the media these days, taking some shots at the progressive left?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I think that it is a time for some, you know, careful thinking about what wins the elections and not just in deep blue districts. Nothing is going to get done if you don’t have a Democratic majority in the House and the Senate. And our majority comes from people who when in much more difficult districts.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

RIVERA: Dana, Nixon lost the close one to JFK in 1960. The media hated him. He came back eight years later and got elected twice. Could history repeat? Is she’s such an impossible candidate?

PERINO: I don’t think so. But I want you all to remember. It’s about eight weeks ago I said this was going to happen, that she was going to try to make a comeback, or that there are enough people around that whole universe that makes a lot of money on consulting. And it’s like — it’s like you write this and then I’ll get this campaign going, and then I’ll write the ad, and then I’ll get the consultant, and I’ll get the contract, and it just goes around and around. I highly doubt this is going to happen.

Imagine if you’re one of the 26 Democrats who ran last time when you’re looking at this saying, wait, what about me? I mean, Mayor Pete is basically walking around like he’s going to be the nominee in 2024, even though he’s like, oh, no, I love Kamala Harris. She’s really great.

RIVERA: And yet, Judge, a lot of people have buyer’s remorse for picking Trump over Hillary. Could she get a second shot because of regret?

PIRRO: I don’t think they have any regret now because they picked Biden. And now they’ve got Biden buyer’s remorse again. But you know, I really believe that when you look at the people and the options out there, you know, Biden is a disaster. He’s going to be older in another three years. That’s not going to work. Kamala is a joke literally. She laughs at herself most of the time.

And you know who else, Pete Buttigieg, I mean, you know, the man who saved Christmas? Give me a break. So, I mean, you know, she can come across to a lot of people as a serious, you know, person who understands world affairs, who understands policy, domestic issues, and people have a short memory.

They forget that she’s the most untrustworthy candidate to ever run for president. She forgets that Comey went before Congress and said she lied the FBI over and over again. I mean, look, you can — you can redress yourself and renew yourself to the American public and run again. I think she’s got a chance. And boy, would I love it because what a good time I’d have.

RIVERA: I wonder if she could beat Mike Pence. But Greg, what would be her biggest hurdle you think, overcome her husband, Jeffrey Epstein, anger from Black voters that she shoving Kamala aside?

PERINO: The Russia investigation?

GUTFELD: Yes, there’s a — there’s a lot to choose from. That’s why this is kind of delicious. I do think though, Dana is onto something. This is all about Doug Schoen. He’s a sneaky little devil. But I — talk about — talking about slamming Kamala. I mean, they’re not passing her over for someone new. They’re passing her — they’re passing over her for someone really, really old.

It’s like, she was supposed to be the new face of the party. And they’re saying no, thanks. The question is, are we ready for a 2016 rematch? I mean, the Clintons are like the political equivalent of COVID. And this is like kind of be — this is like a new variant. It’s a new variant of an old election. Like 2016 was Delta. Is going to be Omicron or worse? I don’t know.

RIVERA: But Jesse, would your mom vote for her? What do you think?

WATTERS: Of course, she would, Geraldo.

RIVERA: Suburban women are the key.

WATTERS: She’d vote twice. Imagine being Joe Biden, though. And you’re in your rocking chair in Delaware and you turn on the TV and every single Democrat in the country is running for president in 2024. Stacy is probably going to run. Bernie is running. People in Joe’s own cabinet are running against them. How degrading is that?

But I don’t think crooked could clear the field. Do you? I don’t think that Mayor Pete, or Bernie, or Stacey Abrams is scared of Hillary. The machine – – Clinton machine is rusty. There’s no Clinton mystique. And I think the Squad would absolutely tear her face right off.

But there is a lot of bad blood between Biden and Hillary. Remember when Hillary was Secretary of State, she disrespected Joe Biden. She had a lot more influence over Barack Obama than Joe did. Then when Obama was done, he basically anointed Hillary, told Joe to step aside, it was her turn. And then, Joe ended up beating the guy she lost to. And to see Hillary kind of circling you like a vulture must make Joe’s blood boil.

RIVERA: I think though that Dana is right on this one. I think that don’t count Hillary out. Stay right there. A huge, huge, really huge — how huge? Very huge announcement about THE FIVE is coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Some very big news today about THE FIVE, your favorite show. Judge Jeanine Pirro is going to be a full-time co-host on the show. And Geraldo Rivera, Harold Ford Jr., and Jessica Tarlov will be our permanent rotating co-hosts. The changes officially kick in starting January 24.

Harold and Jessica along with — is that baby Cleo? Yes, I see her.

PIRRO: I want to see the baby.

PERINO: Holt up. Put the screen up. I want to see her in the camera..

PIRRO: I want to see her on the screen.

PERINO: Oh, Cleo.

PIRRO: Oh, she’s big.

PERINO: She’s so cute.

TARLOV: She’s big. We’re big. She’s big. Everyone is big.

PIRRO: Have you been sleeping.

PERINO: Congratulations to all of you. Let me start with Harold, what have you gotten yourself into?

FORD JR.: I hope a good thing. I’ve been watching the show tonight and taking notes on with Geraldo’s performance. And hope we now can collaborate a little bit more, because those guys are tough.

RIVERA: They are. Tough crowd.

PERINO: Geraldo, you’ve, you’ve watched this show from the beginning. Are you excited to become officially a part of it?

RIVERA: First of all, huge fan of Jessica and Harold. And of course, you all have been so kind to me, you know, despite the fact that we obviously disagree on some issues. But we agree — we agree that, you know, we respect each other. We have great affection. And I think it comes across and that’s why the show’s so successful. And I’m proud to be on it.

PERINO: Jessica, well, first, it’s great to see you with his lovely baby.

TARLOV: Yes.

PERINO: Are you ready to get back in the arena here and have some arguments with Jesse?

TARLOV: I was listening to the show as well. I could — I’m going to use my last eight weeks for sure before coming back into the arena. And I was thrilled to see that Jesse’s New Year’s resolution was to be nicer to me. I have a child. I deserve that.

But I’m really thrilled to be joining the show. It’s obviously a show I watch for years. And I’ve been thrilled to be colleagues with all of you and newer with Harold, who joined just last year. But it’s great to be part of the show that really shows off that people on both sides of the aisle can get along and have fun. And yes, I’m just overwhelmed by this and this.

PERINO: Well, good. And Judge Jeanine, let’s give you a chance to say a few words to the audience here that adores you.

PIRRO: Well, first of all, I’m thrilled to be a part of this. I mean, I love all of you. And it is for me an opportunity to do a lot of things five days a week. I mean, I’ve been on the weekends for 11 years now, everybody, with “JUSTICE WITH JUDGE JEANINE.” And it’s nice to be a part of a team that discusses every big issue every day five days a week.

So, I’m thrilled to be part of this and I have great respect for everyone here and affection as well. So, for me it’s a wonderful thing.

PERINO: Awesome.

PIRRO: My three dogs though, they’re very upset about it.

PERINO: They’re worried.

PIRRO: Yes, they are.

PERINO: They’ll be well taken care of there. Greg, you have anything you want to say here to these folks?

GUTFELD: I’m just — I’m a little bit worried about their choice of music. So, like, I will just have fewer punk rock, fewer metal songs, and it’ll just be more country music.

PIRRO: I love country music.

PERINO: I noticed that Judge Jeanine chose Toby Keith I think today.

PIRRO: Oh, yes.

PERINO: And Jesse, I’ll give you the last word here.

WATTERS: I’m just going to — I’m so excited. I want to get back to the table.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Because the best part about this crew here is the conversations in the commercial break. Geraldo’s new Bentley or you know talking golf with Hereford Jr. or, you know, my giving Jessica nursing tips and talking to the judge about New York City and our dogs. I can’t wait to get back to the table.

PIRRO: Yes.

PERINO: OK, well, it’s thrilling. It’s a wonderful, amazing show. I know that the three of us are honored to be on it. And now we have all of you with us as well. And thank you to all the fill-ins as well. Everybody, we love you. All right, Judge, Geraldo, Harold, and Jessica, congratulations one more time. “ONE MORE THING” is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It’s time now for “ONE MORE THING.” Dana.

PERINO: OK, well, it’s time for this. Dana’s sorry, we’re ruining your name news. So, the other day that Washington Post published this article about all these people who are named COVID. They spell it with a K. And they’re very upset about what’s happened as you can imagine. They are probably thinking of changed their name.

It made me think of all the other names that have been ruined, right? You think of Corona beer, Delta Airlines, a Kovid, Alexa, Karen — that’s our producer there, Karen Funaro. She goes to Starbucks and says her name is Lauren. Then you got Brandon. You all know what that’s all about. That’s our NASCAR driver there. And just be careful so that they don’t make exclamation point in primetime one of those names.

GUTFELD: Yes. I felt so bad for my grandfather, Adolf.

WATTERS: Greg.

GUTFELD: You know, I’m next. Tonight, what a great show. I have Judge Jeanine fresh from this show. We’re going to tape it right after this.

PIRRO: Right.

GUTFELD: Rod Blagojevich, Jamie Lissow, Kat Timpf. It’s going to be a wild one.

PERINO: That’s going to be wild.

GUTFELD: Yes. And now we’re going to do this, quickly. Greg’s wow, that’s really gross. This is such a disgusting piece of video. I think that if you have any children or elderly in the room, you should get up and leave. Let’s roll the tape.

This is just hideous. This is a large sea of pom-poms. Pomeranian dogs, there must be about 70 of them together, a mob of pom-poms. It’s absolutely disgusting. I don’t know where these tapes come from but it’s absolutely hideous to see these little dogs having so much fun. Anyway, I’ll shut up now.

Judge you’re up.

PIRRO: OK. I don’t know about you, but I have three dogs, and they go crazy whenever they see a squirrel. So, I heard about this dog by the name of Rocky, a golden retriever. He lives in South Carolina. And every time guests come over, because Rocky gets crazy, she put squirrels on television or on an iPhone. The dog will not bother the guests. He does not get crazy. He’s totally focused on the screen.

Now, haven’t you always wondered whether or not a dog can see what’s on television? Look at that, an iPhone. I’m going to go home tonight and try it on Ted.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PIRRO: Yes.

PERINO: Who’s Ted?

GUTFELD: Yes, who’s Ted?

PIRRO: Ted, Red, and Stella. Ted is not a — he’s a four-legged — a four legged dog.

GUTFELD: Some dude. Some guy you picked up.

WATTERS: Four-legged.

PIRRO: A four-legged dog.

GUTFELD: Where are we? Jesse.

WATTERS: So, you know how I like to check in on the goings-on in Russia. Well, let’s look at Germany. What the heck is going on in Germany? This is what’s going on.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Some German woman picks up this massive bird. And what does she do with it? She’s just going to drop it right into the river. She’s going to pick it up. She’s going to drop it right over that little thing and just drop it right in the river. The swan was disoriented. I don’t know the German word for disoriented but it was very disoriented. And now it’s back in the — in that lovely body of water. But that’s what they do in Germany. Get some disoriented birds and they throw them in bodies of water.

GUTFELD: You are — you are a fearless culture critic, Jesse.

PIRRO: Wow.

GUTFELD: All right, Geraldo, 30 seconds.

RIVERA: Time for Geraldo’s Geraldo news Geraldo. At the Rivera house, morning coffee is served with the side of love. It all started one morning I decided to leave a love note for Erica on her coffee which I make in the morning. Now, it’s a regular thing.

WATTERS: Cute.

RIVERA: On days when I don’t have radio or TV, I sleep in, she makes the coffee. But I tried to send her a little note.

PERINO: It’s so cute.

RIVERA: And 21 years together, wonderful.

PERINO: Peter, take notes.

RIVERA: (INAUDIBLE).

(CROSSTALK)

PIRRO: That’ wonderful.

WATTERS: They’re not going to (INAUDIBLE), Geraldo.

GUTFELD: You know, I do that — when I’m in D.C., I do that to Bret Baier.

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